I’m going to be honest, this weekend was far more challenging than I anticipated it would be.

This year for Lent, I decided to attempt to give up social media on the weekends. I know several other incredible women who participate in social media free weekends (like her and her), and I thought the challenge would be tough, but not impossible. When I woke up Saturday morning, I grabbed my phone and immediately out of habit had the itch to scroll through Facebook and Instagram. Even though I successfully resisted, it wouldn’t be the last time I would find myself reaching for my phone, desiring one glimpse at what others were doing with their weekend. I began to really consider why I felt such a strong pull, such a fierce desire to connect.

What I’m about to share with you is really honest, and to me a little scary.

I think social media connects me to people who I believe are important, and being a part of their social media life makes me “feel” important. Disconnected from them almost makes me feel like the things I’m doing with my life are less significant. 

Woah, Isn’t that awful? That I have placed such a high value on superficial connection that I subconsciously base my own worth on it?

I realized this weekend that this intentional disconnect couldn’t have come at a better time. Instead of grabbing my phone, I reached for my bible and my Lent reflection journal to spend some time with The Lord. This weekend was filled with moments of present-mindedness like I haven’t experienced in so long. When I got anxious, instead of escaping my reality by zoning out on a social media binge, I had to find real ways to cope. I was super productive Saturday morning on business tasks I had been avoiding, had brunch with my sister, took the pups on a long walk on what was a delightfully warm morning, went on a double date with  Matt and my brother and sister in law to the cutest little bistro, spent time with his family, and spent Sunday morning deep in reflection in The Word with the accompaniment of Hillsong’s “Oceans” and my new watercolors before a bridal portrait session Sunday afternoon. It was the stuff great weekends are made of, and I knew that in my heart without having to have it validated with likes on an Instagram photo.