Today’s blog post was originally going to be something entirely different than what this post is unfolding into. But, I’m having one of those nights…you know the ones. The day has been long, the work has been satisfying, and I sit here, reflecting with the makings of good reflection ambiance-a cold brew and Florence on my Pandora.
I think nights like this are vital to my soul, vital to remembering the journey- not just the goals, tasks, to-do lists. Remembering why I started the blog in the first place-and no, it wasn’t with the hopes of creating a successful photography business. I started the blog to write because writing was my release, it helped me process the changes coming as Matt and I prepared for our wedding. It allowed me to deal with my anxiety as well as make a permanent place for this nostalgic soul to return to reminisce. As fate would have it, God had other plans and my tiny, personal WordPress has morphed into my online storefront for the business I always dreamed of but never thought I’d have the courage to pursue. Thank goodness God has greater faith in me than I do myself.
My eyes are heavy, my days are long, and more often than not it seems that the work is never done. But I know in my heart of hearts that this journey is just, there is a purpose. I spend my days consoling crying eyes, soothing worries, planning developmentally appropriate activities, feeding, loving, kissing boo-boo’s. I am surrounded by three year olds from 9-6 and our conversations usually involve monster trucks, family vacations, s’mores making, “But Ms. Nikki, I don’t want to take a nap,” and “I needa go potty!” But those babies, those Chippers? THEY NEED ME. And to be needed pulls at the heart strings of my inner Mama.
And my nights? Oh, my nights. I come home, play with Pup for a few minutes, throw dinner together very quickly, kiss my (very supportive) husband, and then hang out in my office. I hold meetings with clients or fellow photogs, I cull, I edit, I submit to publications, I blog, I keep up my social media presence, I keep up with business paperwork and taxes, I correspond with clients, I dream, I dream of bigger dreams and bigger plans and a day when I get to make a full time living out of this thing I’m so passionate about. Oh, and sleep? Yeah, sleep is a seldom prize around these parts.
I won’t tell you it isn’t hard. Because it is. There are days when I just. Want. To. Sleep. And days when I want to put things off, and days when I think, “Is all this work really worth it?”
And the answer? YES. Yes it is worth it. Because in both of my jobs, I get to do work that matters. I have a rare opportunity to be a part of people’s lives and families at their happiest moments. Babies and brides, brides and babies. Who wouldn’t want to be living a life where you work to serve people in love and who give love unconditionally? Really, it’s a dream. A hard dream, but a worthy dream. My days are long, but my heart if full.
So, I can’t always answer emails during the day. And sometimes the blog isn’t published until 2pm when I go on break. But, I can say without a doubt that for now, I’m making it work the best I can. And I know that the work isn’t for nothing, for I do not labor in vain. The seeds I’m sowing now will no doubt be harvested later.
Matthew 9:37 The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few.