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Facing Fears (and Fall Favorites)

November 1, 2012

To say that I love Fall would be an understatement. Actually, I spend most of the month of August anxiously awaiting the arrival of my favorite aspects of the season. Pumpkin Spice Lattes, picking fresh apples straight from the orchards of Appalachia, Halloween décor, carving pumpkins, tall boots and scarves, football, cooler weather, gatherings with family and friends, watching creation change before our eyes to produce a vivid autumn color palette. The list could go on for days.

Adulthood came knocking on my door this week instead of trick-or-treaters.

Instead of spending our first Halloween in our own home together watching Hocus Pocus and anxiously awaiting toddlers begging for treats, I spent it traveling for work.

Boo.

Now that I’ve had my mini-pity-party, let’s move on.

This trip was actually a huge victory for me.

I started this blog to deal with some of my crippling anxiety. I found that writing helped me to process my fears and the things that were really causing me to have these feelings.

Driving alone for long distances to unfamiliar destinations? Yep, you guessed it. Huge trigger. I wanted to cry, wanted to back out of the trip. The fear of everything unknown when you leave home alone is just so unnerving to me. I’ve always struggled with it. I never do ANYTHING alone. I’m just a people person. I function better in the presence of my people. Again, a creature of comfort, I constantly seek comfort in home and people I associate with home. There was a point earlier this year when I didn’t want to drive ANYWHERE alone (ask my husband). So to be told I would not only be driving alone, but to be going across statelines? This trip became my Everest.

I know what you’re thinking. I need to grow up. I knew this also. So I faced my fears. We all have fears, it’s a commonality, it makes us human.

Before I left Richmond, I put on the comfiest pair of big girl britches I could find, got a tall cup of Starbuck’s finest seasonal creation, put on Michael Buble’s Christmas CD (that’s right folks, Christmas music in October) and proceeded to head North.

And you know what friends? I made it. And when I started to feel the twitch of nervous uncertainty, I chanted my life verse, pleading for my soul to just believe it.

“I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me. I CAN do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

As I drove, I felt at peace. I brought comfort from home, and carried courage in my heart.

I know and care for people with similar fears. If I can do it, you can do it too, friend.

Happy Halloween, ya’ll. Here’s to facing fears, and a few favorites I found from this fall.

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