So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. -Isaiah 41:10
Sometimes, I get so consumed in responsibility that I worry rest will never come. It weighs heavy on my heart. I become so task oriented that it’s all I can do to make it through one duty just to drag myself to the next. I’m a perpetrator of some serious self inflicted anxiety. I worry about worrying. I feel angst over getting anxious until I feel like I can barely stand to be in my own skin.
It’s exhausting.
I try to focus on God’s word. I know wherever he calls me, he will be right there waiting when I arrive. He will never forsake me, and the plan he has for me is so much greater than my own.
Yet still I fear. Irrationally.
And for what? If I don’t succeed, he will carry me. When life is hard, he steadies my heart. He always provides. Always.
Once I relinquish control incredible things happen. Peace and love and light and beauty.
I believe peace is a place that God carries us to, but to get there we must first step far outside of our comfort zone.
When we arrived to the beach last week, I kicked my sandals off into the floorboard of the truck and leapt into the sand. It felt cool and familiar. I did as I’ve done every trip we’ve ever taken as a family, and walked alone to the shoreline and let the waves break at my ankles.
I took a deep breath, and for the first time in months, I felt serenity. If you’ve never experienced this kind of peace, just know it smells of saltwater. And gratitude.
In that moment, I knew He was there, and I wanted to bottle up the calm that I felt and save it for later. This vacation came at the perfect time, a rest between two busy, yet rewarding seasons. I love the work that I do, and knowing it is good and purposeful and that I have an opportunity to honor God in serving others and teaching. But, God also knows my heart, that it has been growing weary, and he provided as always. Last week was an incredible time of rest and relaxation and family. I’m going to share more images from our time in the Outer Banks later, but for now, I’m going to leave you with the beach. I hope it gives you some peace to lead you into this Tuesday! Ever since I was a little girl, my Daddy and I always pick one morning together to walk alone on the beach and search for shells. These are some of my favorite beach memories. Those walks, cups of coffee, and conversations while searching for hidden conch treasures are things I will always cherish.
Beautifully written. I can relate to this on so many levels. Fear. It’s been a shadow following me my whole life. Thank you for sharing this! Peace smells of saltwater: truer words have never been spoken! <3!!
What a treasure to be able to walk on the beach with your Father. The quiet time together is so valuable and will never be replicated. I miss those times with my Dad and love to read about others cherishing times with theirs. Thanks for sharing Nikki.
Nikki this is so sweet. I remember when I walked along the beach with Pop collecting seashells. Treasure every precious moment with your Dad and store away each wonderful memory so on tough days you can look back. Sometimes the memories of Pop get me through the hard times. We are so blessed that God gives us the precious blessings called memories. Love you blonde girl…Mom S.